Thursday, June 03, 2004
What am I here for again?
I painted again today. It's been a few months and I feeling a little rusty and stupid but it's coming back. The intuitive nature of creation is somewhat creepy to me at times. The right brush weighted with paint seems like an extension of me; a part of my arm; something I was born with. The smell of oil paint is as familiar and comforting in the way I imagine a mother's perfume or her best cooking might be. In the midst of painting, for a few moments, I'm truly happy, truly passionate, truly in love with what I do. Before and after seems so much more full of dread and dissatisfaction.
Recently, my father-in-law joked that God never made him good at anything but preaching because if He had given him any other talent, he'd never choose to be a minister. I guess I feel much the same way about art though that's hard to live with. I'm sharp enough to do other things but they can't help but feel mundane and pointless next to act of creation. I know why God put me here but quite frankly, sometimes I wish He had asked a little less of me. What I was born for is not just a job or a career - I live and breathe my art in much deeper way. It's inescapable no matter how hard I try.
|
I painted again today. It's been a few months and I feeling a little rusty and stupid but it's coming back. The intuitive nature of creation is somewhat creepy to me at times. The right brush weighted with paint seems like an extension of me; a part of my arm; something I was born with. The smell of oil paint is as familiar and comforting in the way I imagine a mother's perfume or her best cooking might be. In the midst of painting, for a few moments, I'm truly happy, truly passionate, truly in love with what I do. Before and after seems so much more full of dread and dissatisfaction.
Recently, my father-in-law joked that God never made him good at anything but preaching because if He had given him any other talent, he'd never choose to be a minister. I guess I feel much the same way about art though that's hard to live with. I'm sharp enough to do other things but they can't help but feel mundane and pointless next to act of creation. I know why God put me here but quite frankly, sometimes I wish He had asked a little less of me. What I was born for is not just a job or a career - I live and breathe my art in much deeper way. It's inescapable no matter how hard I try.
|
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
The Avid Cyclist: Day Three
Somehow this has gone from a blog about art to a blog about cycling. I think this has something to do with my sad level of artistic output about which I confess to feeling some guilt. Regardless, I still have a few things to say about cycling.
For instance, I recently found out that President Bush rides a Trek mountain bike. This is pretty exciting because Matt and I now have serious bikes to aspire to should our level of avid ever outstrip our Huffys. Seems silly to pick a brand based the President's preferences, but as I understand it, the bike was a gift from the Trek's president. If the Trek president contributed more than just a bike, buying from them in a round about sort of way supports the Bush campaign.
Now, I'm off to check Ebay for all the Trek bikes being sold by upset Democrats.
|
Somehow this has gone from a blog about art to a blog about cycling. I think this has something to do with my sad level of artistic output about which I confess to feeling some guilt. Regardless, I still have a few things to say about cycling.
For instance, I recently found out that President Bush rides a Trek mountain bike. This is pretty exciting because Matt and I now have serious bikes to aspire to should our level of avid ever outstrip our Huffys. Seems silly to pick a brand based the President's preferences, but as I understand it, the bike was a gift from the Trek's president. If the Trek president contributed more than just a bike, buying from them in a round about sort of way supports the Bush campaign.
Now, I'm off to check Ebay for all the Trek bikes being sold by upset Democrats.
|
